Personal: The cupid-gram

A few days ago, my sister-in-law asked me what Jason and I did for our first Valentine's Day. For someone who seems to remember everything, literally so many details it's obnoxious, I actually wasn't sure I could remember. I tried thinking hard, squinting my eyes towards the bright sunlight...as if using the trick to correct my astigmatism might help me correct a memory lapse. I can't really remember, I'd told her. But I'll think hard on it...maybe the answer is in one of my old diaries, I suggested.

After a few hours of trying to remember which one was our first one--To the diaries I went. And back down memory lane for longer than I'd wanted to be there. Within the pages of my high school diary there was more heartbreak and anxiety than I'm proud to admit. Sure there were happy times, but I found the pages riddled with phrases like why doesn't he like me, maybe he'll notice me today, I'm so heartbroken I can't eat, hopefully by the next entry we'll be dating, and maybe I won't ever truly understand love until I'm married. As for the Valentine's Days, most were fairly bland and some were down-right sad. When I was a freshman, I'd fallen hard for this guy in the 10th grade. When Valentine's Day came, our high school gave out cupid-grams...a red rose and a song from our choir were delivered to all the lucky girls. For most of the girls who didn't receive one, we'd brush it off like it was no big deal--a dumb thing anyway. But to me, it was the world! I would lay in bed the night before thinking about how it would happen. How this guy, was going to send me one in Biology, no 2! cupid-grams. I would be the talk of the school, I'd thought. But things don't always work out the way you dream. I didn't receive one from him, but instead, he'd given his red rose and song to one of the prettiest girls in the school. As for me, he later taped a blush-colored carnation to my locker as a peace offering. A carnation?! I have since hated that flower.

Since, as it seems, Valentine's Days never really amounted to anything, I started realizing that I've suppressed most of my memories of this yearly holiday. After spending hours re-reading those high-school days, I was glad I'd let them go and failed to remember them. The joy didn't flow through the pages until I'd met Jason and honestly things were so awesome, so happy, that I hardly ever wrote. I was so busy living life with him that I'd let years fly by in my diary--empty page after empty page. But somehow, as odd as this sounds, staring at those blank pages jogged the memory of our first Valentine's Day. As neurons fired rapidly, I smiled as I remembered it:

I'd been at school all day...watching the girls in my class get cupid-gram after cupid-gram...and rose after rose. I was a senior that year and Jason was a freshman at CU, so clearly I should have been over the whole rose/song thing, but I wasn't sure I was. Yet, I'd made it through the day in good spirits and was looking forward to our date later that night. As soon as I had walked inside my basement door, I noticed that the floor beneath me was littered in petals. Red rose petals covered our teal carpet in a trail to my room. At the age of 17, this was honestly the coolest thing ever!! On my dresser sat a dozen long-stemmed roses, a teddy bear, and a HUGE box of chocolates in the shape of a heart. There was also a few cards waiting to be read and a note that said "Call Me". I remember picking up the phone thinking, this is SO much better than a cupid-gram!

I found out later that his sweet surprise was hardly an easy feat. He'd asked my parent's permission to sneak into the house during the day and had strategically planned the drive from Boulder to Longmont in-between his own classes, making sure to miss my late-morning departure for school and my early arrival home...nothing was easier than my senior year in high school let me tell you! Ha! But back to the story. Jason had planned a lot of this well, but had forgotten one super important detail. Um, gas! He'd run out on the highway. Of all places! Bad news bears. Not only had he run out, but he couldn't think of anyone who could help him, so he started jogging to the nearest gas station...nearly 3 miles away. I laugh every time he tells me this story because not only did he have to run there, he had to run all the way back, with a shiny-red gallon of gas. Obviously he'd made it before I'd come home, but his effort alone won him the boyfriend-of-the-year award, and those chocolates tasted sweeter as he'd reenacted the scene at dinner.

This cupid-filled day lands once every year and yet while I can't remember them all, there are a few that are unforgettable. There was the one where he'd surprised me in Cali at school with flowers and a visit; or the one when he'd forgotten entirely until the night of so he purchased not one, but fourteen separate bouquets as a make-up; or the one where he surprised me with a cozy dinner that he'd made 100% on his own; or the one where he learned that I honestly do not like traditional V-day gifts--in fact, I loathe the jewelry pendants & candy. And pink is my least favorite color. Props to J for figuring that one out early-on.

Valentine's Day is around the corner again. The 10th one we've celebrated together! Ten. Our life IS love, so a specific day on the calendar seems mundane. But we'll celebrate anyway! Gives us another excuse to stay in together and be happy as pie. Happier than a cupid-gram could have ever made me. ♥

Photo: Senior Year 2002 with J.