My life has dramatically changed over the last 10 months. I had NO idea what having a baby would be like even though every. single. person. I met told me their "first year" stories.
I heard everything from:
your heart will grow ten times its size
you've never known love like you'll find with your baby
you won't ever sleep again
the first three months are the hardest, but after than, you'll find joy
boys are easier, so you're in luck
the birthing part is the best, yea for drugs
the birthing part is so painful, i'm sorry...i don't want to scare you
everyday gets easier and harder at the same time. but it always seems better
I have to say, there were things I heard that were totally true. And things I haven't really experienced. But you child, are prefect. So perfect, I'm literally terrified of having another one at the moment. I am not sure how I'd be blessed enough to get a second child as good and easy as you. I try to live in each moment and I'm pretty crazy about photographing your every move. I want to remember our life as it is now, because it's pretty dang good. And you are changing so fast. Growing like a weed, as they say. After seeing a few photographers I blog-stalk, I decided to try and snap a photo-a-day of you. In the moment when I had my camera handy. Then, when you're sleeping at night, I write a small memory from the day. I doubt I'll make it until Christmas, or much past the next few weeks, but I'll sure try. In a perfect world, I would have started this on Day One of your life and cataloged your first year. But since I didn't, this will have to be good enough. A lesson I'm trying to teach you already: do the best you can. with what you have. in that moment. ...nothing else matters. Oh, and say your prayers at night. God is so very good.
Here's just a few of my favorite images and memories captured during your 10th month of life. You are my sunshine. I hope you know that.
It's few and far between for me to see you not laughing, trying to talk, or pointing your cute little finger at everything. I love the brief moments when I see pure baby! And you are so smart. I asked you where the owl's foot was and you showed me. I adore you.
Most days with you are spent at our tree nursery. You are getting so good at our crazy-life routine and love how much room we have for you to play. I don't let you crawl around in our office though because our floors are always so dirty from the boys' muddy shoes...but you LOVE driving your Jeep all around so you don't seem to mind. Everything is interesting to you. But there is nothing you get more excited about than seeing (and hearing) daddy come back from a meeting in his big truck! I know you want to be just like him some day. Know what little one? You will be.
Today we celebrated life. The life of your great-grandfather who recently passed away. The service was beautiful...full of laughter, light, hope, and the memories of a TRUE love story between my grandparents as my grandmother doted on her best friend until his last breath! There were tears shed and moments when I wished I could have gotten just one more chance to tell him how much I loved him! I try so very hard not to have regrets, and I realize that every moment should be cherished. You have taught me this; and given me so much wisdom. In spite of all the sadness and the lost memories, we spent time making more of just that. Our own.
This week has been busy...and full of activities. I have been up really late for the last three nights and then up again early in the A.M. But it's not because of you baby! You sleep like an angel. Tonight, in the quiet--yes, everyone else is asleep--I'm still looking over the photos we took today. You had your first experience with sidewalk chalk. And I'm assuming you're too young...since you tried to eat it more than once. And then rolled around in it until you were covered in dust. The dirtier the better it seemed. Such a total BOY you are.
I'm writing your caption tonight with tears in my eyes. All this laughing at you in this picture is doing me in! Today I took you to the pool for the first time. A bit late in the summer to start these festivities, but I'm still hanging on to every bit of summer that's left! We got into the pool and you cried. Like the littlest baby. I thought you were so cute and snuggled you close. After a few minutes, you laughed and tried for ten minutes to blow bubbles in the water. After sucking water into your lungs a few times, you decided just floating was good enough. And since you seemed to be tiring early, I scooped you up to dry you off in the sun. I propped you up on this chair. Maybe it was the fact that you were finally out of the water, or maybe you wanted back in. Or maybe, it was the small tooth that's on the surface of your gums that gave you a menacing furrow. Whatever it was, you sat like a gorilla for a few minutes staring at that water! And while you looked rather intimidating, I'm claiming you: as MY king of the jungle.
From the moment you were born, people have commented on your hair. Lucky for you, you were born with daddy's hair texture: thick and thicker! I'm always trying tricks to get my hair to look thick like you and daddy, but alas, I still have thin hair. I am happy, though, that it's finally growing back! No one told me you lose handfuls of hair for months after having a baby. There were days I swore you had more hair than me! In all my baby picture, Nehma and Papa styled my hair just like I style yours. But it seems more fitting on you, love. Because faux hawks on girls in dresses sometimes just seems funny. Unless you're PINK. And then it's awesome. You can't pick how your hair grows though...and I'm embracing all those spikes you have on the top. The sides can grow out later. For now, we will style your hair every day after your morning nap. Because, let's be honest, it gets all kinds of messed up with how hard you sleep. ;)
Gorgeous boy...you are a dream! I will be sad when you don't wear your little sleep sack to bed anymore. I love how you are a little worm and you squirm squirm about. This was taken during your morning nap. Most mornings, you wake up, eat, play, and then fall asleep once again. Just as with your stylish hair, I see no sense it getting you dressed for the day. Just yet. You snuggle little Howie as close as you can. But I am careful to also leave Spot (usually in a new place) in with you as well. I love how when you first open your eyes, you suddenly find you have two buddies to play with. Most nights, I also leave a book in there. When you wake up, you read out-load and I laugh when I hear your coos through the monitor. I have learned that not one, not even two pacis are enough. This very fact just kills me since it wasn't until you were 6 months old that you even considered using such a thing. Your new-found fascination with throwing them off your crib rails has lead to a few fussier-than-normal mornings. I suppose you still haven't learned that if you throw it, you won't have one. So, you have one in your mouth as you fall asleep and I leave you two more to throw overboard. Just in case.
It was hard to choose a memory today. I aim for ONE picture of you and end up having to choose from twenty! We didn't have a car this morning and so, instead of going to work, you decided to explore the entire house. You were doing laps around the interior walls and it was as if you couldn't quite decide what your plan was. I can only imagine your thoughts go something like this: "..up on this chair...wait, no, down and crawling to my room...wait, no, turning around is better. wait, no, my room sounds great, no, actually, I think I want to go crawling down that one stair because it looks like more fun..." You are like a little explorer and you have NO fear! You make me so nervous on that step, but you just go for it! All that crawling and serious decision making made you thirsty. I could tell since you were panting. I asked if you wanted some water and you flapped your arms (you haven't yet mastered clapping) up and down and screamed a loud "m" sound. So, I gave you some of mine. It was full of ice. Just the way I like it. But I'm assuming it gave you a little brain freeze since you slurped it so fast. How cute you were when you tried to tell me about it. Little fish, I just adore you!
I only have to say it and you squeal! "Don't even..." followed by "...let me tickle your feet." Or "...let me git'chu, git'chu, git'chu!!" (And really it sounds like that, only worse in real life.) Daddy and I took you to a friends pool today for your second time. Summer is almost over and I'm trying hard to not let it slip away. This time, you acted like a pro: Sat back in your little floaty, held onto your green snake, and laughed out loud. It's just that when I threaten to get your feet if you don't move them, you laugh louder. And harder. Your squeals are music to our ears. And even though your feet were so wrinkly no one would have believed you only swam for a half hour, I'll always want to "git'em". "Don't even make me prove it!."
Every day is another day we get to teach you about life. It's a big job, teaching you. There are so MANY things. The simple things like please, more, and thank you. The hard things, like no, stop, be gentle. The educational things like what does a doggie say? Or can you hand me the yellow ball? And can you push the blue button? But the most rewarding things we teach you (at least we hope so!) are the importnat things, like how to be kind, how to sympathize, how to be patient, how to laugh out loud, and how to appreciate the small things. Some days, in teaching one thing, we teach another. As was all day today. Daddy asked you "What does a Monkey say?" Then he bellowed out in his deepest voice breathing in and out: "ooh whoo ooh whoo ooh whoo." The funniest thing you've ever heard! Or so your face says. After daddy did the monkey sound all day long, you still giggled until your mouth hurt. At this point, the only real word you know is "Edd-duh" for Eddie, but I'm sure the day is soon coming, when you're following us around screaming you're own rendition of "Ooo ooo ooo aah, aah, aah, aah!" and giggling up a storm at how proud you are! I know that even though we take much of the credit, it is actually you who teaches us these most important lessons. Each day should be a treasure. And even if it's one moment, we should find that moment during the day, and revel in it.
